I Never Knew
by LiquidxIce
Summary: Sad one-shot of Sakura thinking about what she never noticed about Naruto, not her suddenly realizing that she likes him instead of Sasuke. Just thinking in general.


Again, this is not another Sakura suddenly realizing how much better Naruto is for her than Sasuke story. I don't really like those, they don't seem realistic.

xXx

I never knew how much Naruto talked until he stopped.

Whenever I was in his vicinity, there was a constant flow of chatter. After a while, I almost didn't notice. The endless noise was just another sound in the background, like the refrigerator turning on or off. Now that it's quiet, the silence is almost too much to bear.

I never realized how much he bothered me until he didn't.

On a good day, I only clenched my teeth and stalked off. On a bad day, he annoyed me until I exploded, screaming what a useless waste of space he was. Why did he always have to push me so far? I didn't want to scream at him, but he always knew just what to say that would really piss me off.

I never thought about how much he ate until he wouldn't.

Endless servings of whatever we were eating disappeared in the blind of an eye. It wasn't limited to ramen, thought that was the most obvious example. Anything, whether he liked it or not, whether he had ever tasted it before, even when I wasn't sure it was really edible, down his endlessly gaping mouth it went.

I never recognized how much he smiled until he ceased.

At any moment of any day, I could look at him and a humongous grin would greet me. He was always happy, always ready to cheer me or anyone else up. How was he always so cheerful? How could he smile when I wanted to cry? We experienced the same things, yet when I was full of despair, he would be hopeful, telling me it wasn't over yet. Even though I ridiculed his blind faith, some part of me would also believe.

I never realized how much he promised me until it all flew away in the dust.

Standing there, smiling, promising me anything I asked for, time after time. Didn't he realize it wasn't all possible? Some oaths cannot be kept. But no matter what, he would swear himself a geas, telling me that of course he would bring about whatever I wished. Time after time, promise after promise, he kept them all. Until now.

I never knew how much he loved me until it was too late.

Always protecting me, always shielding me, whether it was running over to block a weapon from hitting me with his own body, or telling me he was sure Sasuke didn't really mean what he said. That Sasuke had probably just had a bad day. I made it clear not only to him, but to anyone in the vicinity I didn't fell the same way bout him, but like everything else he did, he never gave up.

I never thought about how much he hoped until he stopped.

From the everyday wishes he announced to the world, to the unspoken ones we knew were there, to the silent hopes nobody knew but him. The hope we would have a fun mission, the hope we would eat something good for lunch. The hope he would become Hokage. The hope that I would change my mind about Sasuke and love him instead. So many dreams swirling about, how could he keep them all straight? How did he keep wishing, even when so many did not come true? We would be assigned a d-rank mission, we would skip lunch. Yet another person told him it was impossible to become Hokage. I ignored him to tell Sasuke how much I liked him, would Sasuke like to go on a date with me? But he would pick himself up, dust off his tarnished dreams, and keep hoping.

I never realized how much I loved him until he was gone.

xXx

Author's Notes:

Random note: a geas is an Irish or Welsh word that has come into English use meaning unbreakable vow. The definition from wikipedia is "_**geis**_ (plural _geasa_) is an idiosyncratic taboo, whether of obligation or prohibition, similar to being under a vow or spell"

The other thing is that Sakura is not necessarily referring to romantic love at the end. I wrote it with the idea she was just realizing how much he meant to her like family. So you can take it either way, it doesn't much matter.

Please review, constructive criticism welcomed.


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